


Casting Stones

by Maverick



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-01
Updated: 2010-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-09 21:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/91591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maverick/pseuds/Maverick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A post Cyberwoman story -- Honesty turns out to be easier than you thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Casting Stones

**Author's Note:**

> Beware the dreaded second person POV

"You would have shot me." It's a statement, not a question, the grief and hatred that had clouded your mind and heart has begun to clear and you're beginning to see the situation through more analytical eyes.

Jack looks up from his desk to where you are standing in the doorway. "Yes. I would have."

Your voice falters a little. "Without regret?" This time it is a question. You're sure that Jack will play it off with a joke about how he'd have missed your coffee or your smart suits. But when you look at Jack, all you see is pain and sadness. You're sure your own face echoes his.

"It would have been one more in a lifetime of regrets, but I would have done what was necessary."

You can see the truth in Jack's eyes. It makes the guilt inside you flare and spread out until you can feel it to your very bones. You know your loyalty should still be to Lisa, always Lisa, but you can't help but feel the weight of your betrayal to the team. To Jack.

You want to give Jack something to let him know you don't blame him. The blame falls squarely on your own shoulders. You know that now. You move to sit on the edge of his desk. You take a deep breath and let the words stumble out. "I don't think you're a monster."

Jack laughs out loud and it startles you. "No more lies Ianto. You and I are done with that. You think I'm a monster and you might not be wrong, but that's okay. I've been called worse."

You start and stop, wanting to contradict him. "I was upset and I..."

He smiles, all teeth and irony. "Let the truth slip out. That's okay too. Besides, I think you've learned we all have a bit of monster inside each and every one of us."

You were prepared for him to mock you, to laugh away your apology or to at least just brush it off like he does everything else. You weren't prepared for honesty, and you certainly don't know what to do with his sympathy. It makes you uneasy. "Why are you trying to make me feel better?"

Jack smiles again, this time his eyes are muted with sadness. It's the most real you've ever seen him. "You lost someone you loved. And yes, I do know what that feels like. I know how each breath you take feels like a betrayal somehow."

Dear God, he does understand. For all his stories and tall tales, he's really at the core just a man like you. A man who has loved and lost. That kinship makes you bold. You reach out and take his face in both of your hands. You press your lips to his, letting your tongue slip inside his waiting mouth. He gives as good as he gets, his hands gripping your thighs. But after a too brief moment, his hand comes up to splay across your heart, pushing you away.

You blink in surprise, licking your lips. "You're turning me down?"

Jack nods. "Not exactly like me I know. But yes, I'm turning you down. I won't be your punishment, Ianto. When this happens," Jack rubs his thumb across your bottom lip. "And I have no doubt it will happen, it'll be because you want it, because you want *me* and for no other reason than that. I'm willing to wait."

You want to tell him that you don't see him that way, that you see him as a kindred spirit, that this is an offer of comfort not penance. But you know the specter of Lisa still hangs between you, and that she might always be there in the background. You feel you owe him the truth in that at least. "It might be a long wait."

Jack leans back in his chair and nods. "I've got all the time in the world."

You stand up and start for the door before turning back to meet Jack's eyes. Honesty turns out to be easier than you thought. 'I'd do it all again."

"I know."

You can see that he did know even before your admission. And that scares you for reasons you aren't ready to examine. "Then why didn't you retcon me?"

Jack walks over to where you are standing. "Because knowing what you're truly capable of can be the worst punishment of all." Jack puts his hand on your shoulder and squeezes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

You close your eyes and nod. "You will."

He cups your jaw with his hand. "And Ianto. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better."

You cock your head into his touch and look into his eyes, maybe really seeing him for the first time. "You sound like someone who knows."

He looks at you like he sees you as well. You like it more than you should. "You have no idea."

"You'll tell me some day?"

Jack removes his hand and smiles again. It's a promise this time you think. "Stranger things have happened. Especially around here."

You have no idea where this is going, but you feel better than you've felt in a long time. Maybe nothing will come of it except friendship, but that might be more than enough. It's been a long time since someone, anyone, has truly seen you, has understood what makes you tick, and you know now that Jack does. And that might be an even more precious gift than the forgiveness you originally sought.

In fact it might very well be everything.

 

—FIN—


End file.
